The Writer's Voice Entry

I was one of the lucky 150 to be selected to try for a spot in the agent round of The Writer's Voice. Below is my entry.

Query:
Dear Awesome Coaches,

When an alien race known as the Adviera abducts thirteen-year-old Gary Jones, they give him the power of telekinesis. Unfortunately this cool new ability comes with a price. The aliens insist Gary complete dangerous retrieval missions for them, alongside other Earth kids with abilities.

The Adviera believes Gary could be the key to saving their race and are secretly grooming him to lead their war effort. Too bad Gary just wants to complete his service to the aliens quickly, so he can use his power to exact revenge on the school bully. But if Gary fails them, it’s not just the Adviera who will suffer—the fate of humanity could also be at risk.

Although Gary works closely with his alien trainer, Esther, so he can learn to control his ability, he’s unprepared for the missions and simulated battles the Adviera force him into. If the alien council would stop changing their ridiculous demands, Gary might have a chance to perfect his ability before they thrust him into a situation he may not be able to survive.

THE ADVIERA ABDUCTIONS, complete at 60,000 words, is an Upper Middle Grade Science Fiction novel with series potential that blends Sky High and Ender’s Game, with butt-kicking aliens. I am a member of SCBWI and the St. Louis Writer’s Guild.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Jamie Krakover

First 250: 
No matter how far Gary ventured from home, he couldn’t escape his mother’s radar. She had scolded him countless times because he went looking for trouble. Gary, however, thought it was the opposite—trouble always found him. Although, exactly how he might step into some kind of mess while walking the dog, he had no clue.

Gary ran his hand through his shaggy, brown hair and risked a glance back at the living room window. His mother’s gaze pierced him just long enough to send a shudder rippling through his spine before she turned from the window and disappeared. She looks like an angry gargoyle.

He grabbed for his earbuds and shoved them into his ears. Bobbing his head to the thundering drums and crashing guitars, he stepped in synch with the music. Buster, his Golden Retriever, had other ideas and dragged Gary down the street as if on a mission. The dog stopped at a dimly lit street lamp near the end of the block, barked, and pulled hard on the leash. In an effort to hold him back, Gary grabbed Buster’s collar with his free hand.

“What is it, boy? What are you barking at?”

Gary looked around the darkening street. Despite the parked cars, no one was outside. Following Buster’s gaze, he found the cause of the disturbance—white lights floating across the sky.

“It’s just a plane. Come on.” He tried to yank the dog back toward the house. Buster planted his butt on the ground and whined.

How much is too much?

As writers we ask how much is too much all the time. How much X is too much in genre Y? It’s typically questions about sexual content, violence, sexual orientations, etc. But really do the specifics matter? It’s literature. In fiction, shouldn’t the limitation be our own imaginations? In short, the answer to the question how much is too much, should be nothing. Nothing is too much. So why do we keep asking these questions?

Because publishing is a business. We are constantly worried about what will sell, what people will think, how people will react, if we can do it justice and on and on. We know there’s a line. There always is. The world is full of boundaries.

The problem is, if we write to that line, we are limiting ourselves right out of the gate. We aren’t stretching our imaginations, we aren’t stretching the limits, and we aren’t stretching ourselves. If we put an imaginary line out there, we will never know where that line really is, and we never have the opportunity to challenge its current location. We will also never challenge ourselves and never know what we are capable of.

We should be writing the books we want to write. Plain and simple. We should be true to our stories and our characters. It goes back to the Ernest Hemingway quote “Write drunk; edit sober.”  Write like the lines don’t matter. In fact write like the lines don’t exist. Don’t limit yourself.

When we write we shouldn’t be worried about what will sell or what people will think. In reality, there is always going to be someone who has issue with your book regardless of what you put in it, whether you follow the "rules" or not. There will also be people that love it regardless. In fact, there may be people who love your book because you pushed the boundaries, because you broke the "rules". So why are we as writers so worried about what’s too much for our books?

We shouldn't be.

Write the book you want to write. Be true to yourself and what you think needs to go on the page. Honor your characters and their journeys. Worry about whether or not it’s working for your story when you edit. You might surprise yourself. You might just push that line further than you ever expected.

Said is not a Dirty Word

Readers are blind to the word said. When they read they don't even seem to notice it. So why then as writers do we treat it like a four letter word? I know I try to avoid it in any way possible, almost to the detriment of my manuscript. I over emote my characters and give them a billion and one things to do just so I don't have to tag dialogue with the word said. Your characters can only smile, turn to each other, and any other assortment of overused expressions and actions so many times before it gets old, becomes unimportant, and annoys the reader. So why do I avoid said? Because the word drives me bananas. I can't stand the repetition of it. Readers may not notice the word but as a writer I certainly do.

As writers, we like to express our creativity and try to come up with as many possible unique ways to say things. So when it comes to dialogue we apply the same rule. So said, soon becomes, replied, answered, stated, voiced... and on and on and on. The problem is those words don't really tell you anything about what was said or how the dialogue was relayed. And even worse, the constant changing of the tag draws notice, to both readers and writers. The more tags that are used, the more the reader starts paying attention to the tags, which means they aren't paying attention to the story, who's talking, or even what is being said.

Suddenly the writer's creativity has backfired. The reader is paying attention to the writing but in all the wrong ways. What reader ever said, "wow this writer has the most unique way of tagging dialogue?" (see what I did there ;) ) They don't, ever. If they are noticing your dialogue tagging they aren't getting lost in your story. This is bad. When it comes to dialogue the reader should know what is being said, understand it, and know who said it. Plain and simple. If you mix up the dialogue tags too much, the reader is paying attention to the tags in addition to everything else, which is distracting. So do yourself a favor and stick with said. I know it's painful sometimes to see it repeated, trust me, but for the reader it's exactly what they need in order to focus on the important parts of the story.

Do you like to use said in your writing? Does it come naturally or is it like clubbing yourself over the head? As a reader do you notice the use of the word said? What tips do you have for dialogue and tagging?

Subjectivity

As an engineer, subjectivity is one of the hardest things for me to wrap my head around. I fully understand that people like what they like and they won't and can't possibly like everything. The trouble emerges when one person says one thing and someone else says the exact opposite. You're darned if you do and darned if you don't which makes it infinitely difficult to find a suitable result. Because that's what engineers do, we find reasonable answers. Even if the answer is, there isn't one.

Growing up we are taught that most things have one right answer. 1+1 = 2 not 5 not 0 not -1 but 2 and 2 alone. As we grow, we learn that sometimes there isn't just one right answer, there could be many, or even an infinite number of them. There's even grey area, partially right, and mostly there. And sometimes the right answer is that there isn't a possible explanation in the realm of our planetary physics. While that too was tough to resign myself to, I learned to accept it.

But subjectivity is a whole other ball of confusion. It's difficult to look at something and say it's darn near grammatically perfect, it's a great idea, and has a good foundation but it's not right for person X, Y, or Z. So in a world where no two people like the exact same things, how do you cater to different individuals likes? The answer is you don't, you can't, and you shouldn't.

As a writer, I have to learn to turn off my analytical, engineer brain sometimes. I have to decide with my heart and my gut, what of other people's preferences resonate with me and ignore what doesn't. At the end of the day, a writer has to be happy with the finished product, subjectivity or not.

While subjectivity is a tough thing to swallow, it shouldn't be what defines us as writers. Although it's a giant part of the business, it isn't everything. There will always be people who don't like your stuff. But there will also be people who more than like it, they may in fact love it. And that's where you can embrace subjectivity. Find the people that get your story and your message and then all the sudden, subjectivity doesn't seem like something to wrestle with anymore.

Wizard World Comic Con St. Louis

This weekend I attended my very first Comic Con. Now I know some of you are asking 'what took you so long?' and after this weekend my answer would be: I don't know cause boy was I missing out! The truth, however, is that up until now, Comic Con was far away, and extremely expensive. But thanks to Wizard World, I was able to experience my first con ever, in my hometown of St. Louis, and it was a complete blast!

By the time Friday rolled around I was about to bounce out of my seat. I couldn't wait to arrive and when I did, I instantly felt at home. I was surrounded by some of the coolest vendors and people I'd ever encountered in my life. An entire room full of people -- selling geeky t-shirts, drawing cool things, selling awesome toys and gadgets, and dressed up as some of the most awesome things from geek culture.

Working R2D2 on the vendor floor
(it made noise and rolled around the floor)

                 

Full scale Dalek from Doctor Who

Friday night I also attended an awesome panel with director/artist Rob Prior (check out his upcoming Red Brick Road - pitched as Oz meets Game of Thrones), and St. Louis' own authors Heather Brewer (Soulbound, Chronicles of Vladmir Tod, Slayer Chronicles) and Antony John (Five Flavors of Dumb, Thou Shalt Not Road Trip, Elemental)

This lovely trio talked about creativity in writing. I live tweeted this panel so if you want more details check out the hashtag #creativitythatlasts. In summary, they are all amazing creators, and such fun people. It was a great panel. They shared lots of great advice on how to harness your creativity and when to fight for it.

And if all that wasn't exciting enough, we ran into Henry Winkler aka The Fonz, walking out of the convention center at the end of the night on Friday. At first I didn't recognize him but as we walked towards each other I started to smile as it dawned on me who was headed my way. I'm sure he saw the realization forming, so he smiled, nodded, and said good night. And the bf shook his hand. Too cool!

Saturday was busy, and by far the best day at the con. I'm still grinning from ear to ear two days later. I was so excited to dress up! I donned my army BDUs, my black top, and of course my belt with holster, carrying my zatgun! The gate was open and I was headed to day two!

My first stop was panel presented by Lionsforge Comics called The Writers Journey. They discussed how you can break out into the comic book industry, and even start gathering a following now with your own web comic. Even if you can't draw! I've always been interested in comics but really don't know the first thing about them or graphic novels so all the information was really intriguing to me. For more info check out my live tweets at the hashtag #thewritersjourney. There's some great advice on how to find an artist, how to write comics, and writing in general.


After the first panel of the day, I rushed back to the vendor room to jump into the autograph line to meet Tom Felton. Yes, I said Tom Felton, aka Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter! Let me just say, he is one of the nicest, funniest, most awesome people I have ever met. For a celebrity he is a true class act! He was genuinely excited to meet his fans, and took a couple minutes to talk to each and every one of them. Saying hi, shaking hands with the fans, answering questions, and just joking around.

Later in the day, I attended his Q&A panel. He was so appreciative of the fans, and how they've kept Potter alive after seven books and eight movies. He answered a ton of fan questions. Some of the highlights:

1. A future role he'd love to play is a bond villain. (I'm totally on board with this!)
2. He lied in his audition. They asked each kid what scene from the book they'd love to see in the movie, the kid before him said Gringotts. His response, yes I love those Gringotts they're awesome! At this point I'm sure the director knew he had his hands full! He also stood right next to Emma in one of his early auditions. Out of thousands, what are the odds?
3. He talked about his role in Rise of the Planet of the Apes. He said Andy Serkis (Caesar) was such a nice guy but in the scene where Caesar beats up his character, Andy really beat the $#&! out of him. Tom said Andy took him by surprise.
4. He read the scripts before the books because he didn't want to be disappointed that something in the books, was left out of the movies or changed. So he had no idea what Draco did to Dumbledore before he read the script!
5. The most disappointing scene to film was flying. It involved four to five hours of sitting on a stationary broom with a wind machine in his face. (Totally anticlimactic!)
6. If he was a dinosaur (yes someone asked this!) he'd be a velociraptor.

All around Tom Felton is a fantastic guy. If you ever get the chance to meet him or see him on a panel, I highly recommend it. For more from his Q&A panel check out the hashtag #tomfelton

Saturday afternoon, I watched Rob Prior live paint batman! Now, I wish I was artist and could draw and/or paint, but watching Rob paint was ridiculous. He paints with two hands, which is really, really cool to watch. I even took some progression shots as he went. He is seriously talented.
 

 

Start to finish, he talked us through what he was doing and answered questions that people shouted out to him. He's a funny guy. Once people saw him licking his paint brushes the questions got interesting. In case you are wondering, yes he eats his paint (not as a habit just while he's working), he can tell the difference in color based on taste, and the worst tasting color is purple! Who knew? He also likes to experiment with things. Earlier in the day at his booth he was painting with Mountain Dew. So don't be afraid to try new things, the worst that can happen is you mess up so badly you have to start over!

And to cap the day off, we ventured over to the costume contest. Let me just say the costumes at this con were phenomenal and the MC of the costume contest was genuinely impressed the St. Louis came out in force for the contest. We had so many people in the contest there was forty people waiting in the hall at the start. We apparently had greater participation than some of the bigger cons! As if there was any doubt that St. Louis could rock a Comic con!

 

Voltron

Darth Maul

Predators

As the people in costume each took their turn on stage to get rated, the judges provided some hilarious commentary. One judge in particular really caught my attention as I was surprised at how funny he was. He was none other than Jason David Frank aka the original Green/White ranger from the Power Rangers. That guy is seriously hilarious. He even got into a "sparring" match with a guy dressed up as Kato from the Green Hornet. I missed most of it but here's a small clip of what went down.

 

I also grabbed a short video (sorry for the blurriness) of the guy who won the costume contest. He was dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow, and he seriously looked the part. He could have been Johnny Depp. And the whole day, he played the part and never broke character. He was absolutely fantastic and hilarious! I'm not surprised in the least that he won the costume contest. It was a well deserved win!

Sadly, I missed out on day three due to a foot of snow in the St. Louis area, but all in all I had a blast at my first comic con. I met some truly awesome people. I'm still on a high from the weekend, despite the exhaustion, it was so much fun and totally worth it! And the best news, Wizard World will be back in St. Louis, April 4-6, 2014!!! I will definitely be going again, so maybe I will see some of you there :)

Me and a fellow Stargate cosplayer!

What I've learned from Writing Contests

Over the past month, I've entered a couple of writing contests that involved the possibility of agent requests. Even though I started out with a lot of heartbreak, I learned quite a bit. In fact, I think I learned the most from all the negative feedback. And even though it's hard to hear, okay more than hard, it's gut wrenching, tear inducing, self doubt filled with stress, it's important to consider the critiques seriously. The knowledge gained can mean the difference between good writing and stand out writing.

The supportive nature of the writer community
This is actually something I learned long before I had a finished manuscript, but entering into contests really reinforced this. There is nothing better in the world than having your fellow writers there to root you on and being able to do the same for them in return. Knowing that someone has your back and is on the crazy train right alongside you makes the journey feel a little less daunting. Writers might all be crazy, but finding that same level of insanity in your fellow writers makes it much easier to continue on. The positive reinforcement is what gives you the ability to brush yourself off and keep on writing despite wanting to drop everything and quit. Having writers struggle with you and cheer you on makes the lonely craft feel a lot less so. And in entering contests, I've met some truly amazing writers.

The domino effect
More often than not while reviewing my own entry as well as others, I'd see one person mention an issue in an entry. The next thing I knew, there would be chain reaction of additional comments alluding to the same problem. I thought long and hard about why this was, especially when it was happening to me, because it felt like I was getting ganged up on. All it took was one person identifying an issue, and that opened the flood gates for others to see the same problem. While it seems like everyone jumping on the bandwagon that's not actually what's happening. It goes back to the whole idea that people can often spot a problem in a piece of writing but they can't always identify the cause. In a group setting however, one person mentioning the driver of the issue is enough. Everyone else that comes after, has a name for it right in front of them. The very name they may not have known had the person before them not mentioned it first.

Early on I blamed the domino effect on the open critique setting, saying it's so easy to just point out what other people are already mentioning. But really I was doing myself an injustice. Unfortunately, I didn't realize what was going on until it stopped happening. In all honesty, the domino effect doesn't happen when the issue isn't present. When you've corrected a problem, you might see one comment that doesn't seem to match the others and this is because of the subjective nature of the craft. But when you see everyone jumping on board, it's cause to stop and take a deeper look at what people are picking up on in your entry. As difficult as it is to hear, you probably have an issue that needs to be fixed.

What did others do right (or wrong)
In looking through entries that moved forward, I learned quite a bit. While they weren't always grammatically perfect and they often broke rules, they had something about them that made me want to read on. It could have been anything from an interesting concept to a character I wanted to know more about. The entries grabbed my attention in an authentic way and took me for a ride in the story, leaving me wanting more than want was on the page.

It's also equally important to see what mistakes others make. In critiquing other entries, I was often able to identify issues that I might not have otherwise been able to see. I developed a highly critical editing eye that I could turn onto my own writing. With common mistakes in mind, I could use them improve my entry.

Finding your voice (and being yourself)
Writers hear about the importance of voice all the time, but for me, it's been one of the hardest things to understand. There isn't a concrete definition of voice, or not one that I can find. I do however know, that when something has voice, you sit up straight and take notice of the words on the page. And when writing doesn't have voice, it can look phoney. I know because my first couple of contest entries were exactly that, phoney. I'd tried to use a gimmick to get people's attention and while it did grab the readers eye, it also created confusion and hesitancy, which is the last thing you want. And the worst part about it was, I knew I was doing it and didn't want to stop. The problem is, when you try to fool your reader into your story they take notice pretty quickly. As a writer you are far better off being yourself, and letting your writing show that. No amount of gimmicks, shocking lines, or other tricks are going to do that for you until you find your own true voice. It's not an easy journey but if you are true to yourself your voice will come out.

Starting in the action (or with what really matters)
This is another thing writers are constantly told but not something I didn't fully understood until I entered contests. I thought I was as close to the action as possible, but I soon found out how wrong I was. While I had whittled down my opening very close to the inciting incident, I still wasn't quite there yet and it showed. When they say start with the important scene, they mean it. They don't mean start the day before, the hour before, or even the minute before, they mean throw your character into what makes them special, and make every word that describes it count. If you are saying well if you just read to page x you'll see what's happening, or on page x you really get to the good stuff, then you are starting in the wrong place.GUARANTEED! If the "good stuff" is on page x, why wouldn't you start there? If that's what you want people to read, put it right in front of them starting on page 1.

The importance of perseverance
The process of finding an agent is grueling. It's a downright emotional roller coaster. Making it to the next round in a writing contest is no different. And no lies, I wanted to give up during some of these contests, sometimes as frequently as multiple times a day. If it wasn't for some amazingly encouraging critique partners, I might have. And if I had I wouldn't be in the agent round of the latest contest I entered. In fact, I had submitted multiple variations of my query and first page when I finally broke through the barrier, and it was because I never stopped trying. I took the advice I was given to heart, I thought about it, and I applied it to my writing. After countless revisions to my query and first page, so many in fact that I lost count, I finally have something that works, that I'm happy with, and that is true to me as a writer, as well as my story. I learned from each revision, improved my craft, and it paid off. So if you take the feedback seriously, and keep trying, you can do it.

Entering contests is not easy. It's difficult to put yourself out there. Even worse it's hard to learn you might not be ready, or you might not have the right starting spot in your story when you think you do. But contests can be great resources of information and feedback if you are open to the advice and willing to apply it. The things you learn can be invaluable. What have you learned about your writing from entering contests?

CLC Kissing Scene Competition

This is my Kissing Scene Competition Entry as part of Cupid's Literary Connection Blind Speed Dating Event.

Kissing Scene Intro: 

This scene is from my Upper Middle Grade Science Fiction. After being abducted by aliens, thirteen-year-old Gary was gifted the power of telekinesis. In this scene, he is working with his teenaged, alien trainer, Esther, to hone his ability. She tasks him with using his ability to retrieve a small pillow that is tucked tightly inside her fist.

Kissing Scene

Scrunching his face, Gary's eyes narrowed to small slits. After a few moments the white ruffles pulled between Esther’s fingers. She tightened her grip and he focused harder, imaging the pillow, and ignoring her hand wrapped around it. Once he had a clear image, he let his mind find a steady drumbeat. Slow and methodical. THUD, THUD, THUD, it pounded in his head. When he mastered the rhythm, he yanked with his mind and the pillow flew between her fingers. He reached out and caught it before it whizzed by.

Esther sucked in a breath, opened her hand, and stared at the red burn mark on her palm.

Before she could say anything, Gary spoke up, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so rough.” He took her wrist and inspected the red marks in her palm. With his free hand he touched the tips of his fingers to his lips then laid them gently in her palm. He folded her fingers over his and gazed into her eyes. “All better.” He smiled.

Esther blinked, a look of surprise forming on her face. “Yes, that feels much better now.” Her shimmering lips curled upward causing a dimple to appear on her right cheek.

Her happiness made Gary feel like he was floating, like nothing bad could ever change this one moment. Though he didn't know why, he leaned in closer and closer, time crawling by. Her exotic, floral scent filled his nose and intoxicated him. His mouth went dry as he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

When Gary regained control of his frozen muscles, he pulled back immediately and looked away from Esther, cheeks burning. His stomach knotted with regret. Did I just ruin our friendship?

Her hand lightly touched his shoulder. Calm washed over him, his nerves eased, and the knot in his stomach untwisted. He turned to her, surprised to see her still smiling. It was infectious. He tried to hide the giant grin erupting. She's happy, so maybe I didn't mess anything up. What does this mean?

Why Writers Should be Watching The Following: A Lesson in Fantastic Storytelling

*this image belongs to Fox

There's no denying that Fox's new drama The Following is dark, twisted, violent, and at times downright disturbing. But what I didn't expect is that it's so unbelievably clever in the way that it tells it's story. Even better it's a great road map for and of a writer, two in fact.

The Following opens with the prison escape of infamous serial killer Joe Carroll (James Purefoy) who is known for murdering a string of women often involved in taking his college literature course. Talk about an inciting incident. So who does the FBI to call to help with the case? Ryan Hardy (Kevin Bacon), the former FBI agent who caught Carroll the first time around. Hardy just so happens to be watching the news of the escape which is of course on every single channel and completely unavoidable. Oh no, is that a empty handle of vodka I see in his trash can and more alcohol all over his messy room? Hello flawed hero! So already we have a hugely interesting start, we've met our villain, and our not so perfect hero and we aren't even ten minutes in. And in book world, I'd say a minute per page, so ten pages in, which is sheer perfection.

The story deepens from there. Enter Sarah Fuller (Maggie Grace), Carroll's last and only surviving victim of his brutal attacks. Knock, knock, knock, the FBI are at your door Sarah, they want to protect you from recently escaped psychopath, Carroll. Well that just ruined Dr. Fuller's day. And in just another few short minutes, we've gotten some well weaved back story on the villain without the infamous info dump. HOORAY!

Meanwhile, Hardy is meeting up with the FBI and checking out Carroll's now vacated cell for clues. And what's this? Carroll had a copy of Hardy's book about the whole ordeal surrounding Carroll's horrible string of murders and his arrest. So our flawed hero is also a writer. Talk about character depth!

Cue the police whiteboard on the suspect's history. Here we learn that Carroll, a literature professor, was also a writer. Too bad his book was not a best seller, or rather it was, but not until after he was outed to the world as a serial killer. This little seed planted becomes important later, stay tuned. Oh how I love good foreshadowing.

So where does the hero go next? He retraces the history of the villain. Again we get more back story on the antagonist, in an interesting way, through the eyes of the hero. Hardy pays a visit to Carroll's now ex-wife, Claire Matthews (Natalie Zea). We learn a lot about Carroll from Claire, including that he has a son and that he wrote her a letter while in prison. What we don't expect to learn is more about our flawed hero. The letter states that Carroll knows about Hardy's affair with Claire. So with one simple tool the plot thickens, Hardy becomes more flawed and we tie the knot between the protagonist and the antagonist that much tighter. Their journeys are more than just crossing, they are entangled.

As the story continues to unfold, we learn that Carroll has an obsession with Edgar Allen Poe (yay more writers!) and Poe was the basis for his previous string of murders. Now Carroll is on a mission to finish his story. Mainly, complete what he started with Sarah Fuller. Even with the police stationed inside Sarah's house, she is taken from underneath their noses. But how can this be? Enter the first twist of the story, that gay couple that lives next door aren't as nice as they originally appeared to be. In fact they aren't even gay, but they won Sarah's trust by living next door, and also won access to her place through a shared wall between their closets.

This twist does a few things to the plot. It ups the anti, in that we can no longer trust what we thought we knew about this story. We also know we can't trust everyone we meet, yay for added tension and mystery! And this incident puts a serious mound of guilt and stress on Hardy, the poor hero. He vowed to protect Sarah and now it looks like he's failed.

Despite the grim looking odds, Hardy through a series of clues tracks Carroll's location and sets out to save Sarah alone. Here is a great example of the hero making a bad decision for the right reason. Should Hardy have set out to tackle a serial killer alone? Heck no! But he knows that this isn't about the rest of the FBI, it's about him, Carroll, and Sarah. So does Hardy tell the FBI where he's headed and risk ruining his chance at finding and saving Sarah or does he take off on his own and risk his own safety but therefore have a better chance at reaching her? Talk about some bad options which again makes for some great tension. These are the kind of choices that not only make characters interesting but really define character without just saying he's loyal, finishes what he's started and likes to take risks to do the right thing. With one decision, all that and more, was showed about Hardy rather than just told to the audience.

Unfortunately Hardy is too late to save Sarah, but he does capture Carroll with the help of the FBI, who shows up because they are luckily not as stupid as they look. So one would think the story ends here, the murderer is back behind bars, and despite another few deaths of officers and poor Sarah Fuller, all seems right with the world again. Cue another episode.... But wait! This is where another big twist comes into play and the whole genius of the writing behind this show really begins.

Hardy of course goes to interrogate Carroll. Here we learn the game Carroll is really playing. Carroll tells Hardy he was not only trying to finish what he started with the original string of murders, but he off to write a new story. And who is the main character of his story? None other than former FBI agent Hardy. Carroll goes on to say that Sarah's death is the inciting incident (yes he uses those exact words inciting incident) to his new story, and in killing Sarah, he's created a flawed, guilt-riddled hero with Hardy. Even better still, he's got a host of other players or a cult if you will, under his tutelage and embedded into the lives of others (the gay couple next door to Sarah included) to help drive the story as he so desires. Carroll assumes the God role and he's got a whole host of characters he's playing puppetmaster too. This guy is a crazy, creepy, madman, but he's a phenomenal writer! He has everything in place to complete a fantastic story.

So now we have a story within a story. Only problem is, Hardy wants to play this out by his own rules and not by Carroll's. So the journey continues with Carroll at the helm and his flawed protagonist fighting at every turn to write a different story. Does this sound familiar to any other writers out there? And driving it all is a cast of characters carefully crafted and trained (or written if your will) by Carroll himself. All Carroll has to do it watch how everything unfolds from his cute little jail cell. Now cue chapter two, and yes the episodes are broken down and named as chapters. How clever is that? Talk about phenomenal writing, fantastic story telling, and great entertainment. Something I know every writer ultimately strives for.

So to say I am sold on this show, both from an entertainment standpoint and a educational standpoint is an understatement. There's no doubt this creepy, dark show will give me nightmares, but it will also give me an amazing lesson in good story telling and how to be a better writer. And if there are any other writers out there who don't mind a little gore with a side of jump factor, I invite your to join me on this journey. It's sure to be a great one and I hope to learn a lot.