Tearing Things Down

Wow, so it’s been a while since I’ve blogged here. Sorry about that! Life kind of got in the way. In the last four or so months, I’ve sold two condos, bought a house, moved, continued on with wedding plans (a little over a month to go), attended the funeral of my 94 year old grandfather (as hard as death is I have comfort in knowing he lived a long and very full life.), and changed jobs. To say I’ve been a bit busy is an extreme understatement. There’s been good, bad and ugly over the last few months, but I look forward to all the good coming in the remainder of the year.

Sadly, the only thing I haven’t been doing a lot of is writing, which is evident in the cobwebs growing around this blog. It’s been a rough road and my schedule and stress level have made writing downright painful over the last six months or so. But in taking a new job as a teardown and cost engineer, I’ve learned some things about my writing. In my new role at work, we take aircraft parts and pull them apart to their base components. We study each piece, try to uncover all the processes that were involved in making it, and then try to understand how it is connected to the other pieces in order to create a much larger functioning part.

And in doing a few of these teardowns, I’ve realized I should really be doing the same with my writing. Take it apart to the bare bones, understand my characters, their motivations, what makes them tick, and how their stories and actions work together to create a much larger cohesive story. There’s a lot of moving parts to a manuscript and until you understand each of them, you can’t fully connect with your writing, your plot, your setting, or your characters.

So my next step is to spend some time really digging into my current WIP; getting to know all the elements so I can build an even better overall story. In doing so, I hope that I can dive head first into my current and future projects with a renewed sense of excite. I’ve got a lot of excitement headed my way and I hope to carry that into my writing in the future.

Thanks to all who have stuck with me through the rollercoaster over these last few months. I hope to share some quite a bit of happiness throughout the rest of the year. Keep doing your thing and I’ll be right there with you.

The Only Girl in the Room

This week I spent time in two all day meetings that were long and exhausting. But on the first day it didn’t take me more than five minutes to realize something significant about the group. I was the only female engineer in the room. Not just engineer, the only female. Sure we had a female office administrator setup the meeting (and that’s a discussion for a whole other day), but when she left, I was the lone female. The only girl in the room.

Now I have to say in general the divide in engineering is getting much better. In the last couple years my group alone has more than doubled its number of female engineers from two to five. And this past summer we had two female interns. Sounds awesome right? Not quite. In a growing group of thirty five plus engineers, this is not an accurate representation of the world. When you go to the grocery store or the mall or the gas station you don’t look up and say hey I’m the only female here. So why is that the case in a large engineering corporation? And what message does this send to up and coming females seeking out technical fields?

Without a single person opening their mouth, the room says, women aren’t welcome. Now I’m not saying that’s actually the case. Every person in the room respects me as an engineer—a respect that I unfortunately had to work long and hard to earn. And on the surface, they don’t treat me any differently than anyone else. But there are comments that sometimes inadvertently alienate me as a female. And as the saying goes, “a picture is worth a thousand words”. So in a room full of men, how do we show women that they are welcome? Because when I’m the sole female representative, I don’t even have to notice that I’m alone to feel that pressure to prove myself. To prove that I know what I’m talking about, to prove that I’m good enough, to prove that I belong. And that is exhausting.

All it takes is the realization that I’m alone, for a minority to go to that place where they feel isolated in a room full of people. To feel like they don’t belong. Like they aren’t qualified. And as a society I think we can send a better message just by changing the dynamics of a room. I’m not saying hire someone or bring them into a room to fill a quota. We should be hiring the best and the brightest no question. But just being aware of there’s a problem is a huge first step. Realizing that sometimes the uneven dynamics create isolation that may not be visible on the surface. And showing the future of STEM fields that this is the reality right now, but it doesn’t have to continue to be this way.

Women are strong enough, smart enough, and are qualified enough to fill the room. We belong. We shouldn’t let the look of a room tell us otherwise. We shouldn’t give up just because we are alone. One day we can change the look of the room. One day I will look up and realize, I’m not the only girl in the room.

Encouraging women in STEM

 

Yesterday I had the privilege of participating on a women in STEM panel at the FIRST robotics competition. Surrounded by countless talented, smart, incredible, and inspiring women we spoke to a room full of students and mentors about supporting women in STEM. The room was packed with people who genuinely wanted to know what to do to encourage women to pursue and stay in STEM fields. It was also filled with the future of women in STEM. Bright young women who were looking for advice and reassurance that this is the right path for them. And while none of us had all the answers some great discussion and advice came from the panel.

But it wasn’t until a somewhat shy student in the fourth row raised her hand and asked “how do I get recognized for my accomplishments in an environment where others get recognition and I don’t?” that I realized how important this panel really was. This question honestly stumped me for a minute. I sat back and waited for some of the other panelists to answer. But as I started to think about it, I realized this is at the root of women’s struggles in STEM fields.

Women in STEM are frequently in the minority. We often look around a room to find we are the only woman there. It is extremely difficult for women to be heard and taken seriously. We often get lost in the pack. It’s why Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In has gotten so much attention. As females we have to be a bit more proactive and make sure we are in the conversation. We often have to step outside our comfort zone and make sure we are heard.

This, however, is not an idea that starts in the workplace. It starts early on in our lives when we are students. Boys tend to get more recognition than girls, especially when participating in STEM activities. I don’t think it’s something that intentionally happens, but I do think there is a good reason for it. Guys tend to be more open and up front about what they’ve done. They want everyone to know what work they did and how well it went. Everything they do is a big deal! It’s how they are wired. Girls tend to be more modest. Girls tend to think people will notice what they are doing, and that they shouldn’t have to talk about it. But in a room full of screaming people, often times accomplishments get overlooked. And girls far more than guys second guess themselves about the lack of recognition.

We are our own worst enemies. We are wired with this little voice in our head that questions everything we do. We see people constantly doing what we are doing, but we think they are doing it better. Then we see them get recognized for it and wonder why we aren’t. After that the downward spiral starts. We begin to question whether or not we are qualified to do this thing. We aren’t getting recognized and clearly there are people better at it than us so what’s the point?

And when you have a voice in your head telling you that you aren’t good enough, it’s really easy to walk away and stop doing it. It takes a really strong person to realize that the voice is just that, a voice, and it is wrong. It takes an even stronger person to stand up to that voice and say no I am good enough, I deserve to be here, I can do this.

So how do we help women develop the ability to combat this voice? How do we help women find the affirmation they need to keep moving forward?

Simple answer? We praise them when we see them doing awesome things.

The more complex answer? We encourage them to speak up. That it’s okay to tell people about their accomplishments. We let them know that with a room full of people sometimes it’s hard to know what everyone is up to and that it’s important to draw attention to accomplishments. A lot of guys have no problem tooting their own horns, and girls should be right there with them.

But there are more subtle ways to do this. Many women don’t feel comfortable speaking up about what they’ve done. They are afraid of being a braggart and that’s completely understandable.

What’s a more subtle way to handle this? An accomplishment jar.

People can put little notes inside about awesome things they see others doing or things they themselves have accomplished. Participants can submit peers or themselves. It’s a simple anonymous way to draw attention to accomplishments without the fear of sounding like a braggart. Then the leader of the group can read the slips periodically. It not only brings attention to what people are accomplishing, but also makes the group want to watch those people in the future. This means that the praise may start coming more immediately instead of after the fact. That said, no matter when it comes, everyone likes to be recognized from time to time.

On the flip side, it also takes realizing that you aren’t always going to get the praise you deserve. And that sucks! BIG TIME. But there are going to be times where you get recognition for things that you think aren’t really a big deal. And it’s going to seem weird. But you take it and say thank you. Because it’s the universe’s strange way of balancing everything out.

The long and short of all this, whether you are male or female doesn’t really matter when it comes to praise. Everyone likes to hear they’ve done a good job. None of us hear it quite enough. So go out there and make someone’s day by telling them you appreciate what they do, and that they’ve done a good job. You don’t know whose life you might be changing for the better.

My Thoughts on Goldie Blox as a Female Engineer

Over the past week Goldie Blox has drummed up quite a bit of buzz, but it has also stirred up some controversy. For those unfamiliar with the toy, it is a series of books and building items designed to teach kids about pre-engineering principles by combining story with hands on activities. Sounds like a great toy. So where does the controversy lie? The tools, spools, ribbons, and other items are donned in pinks, purples, and yellows in an effort to directly target girls. This has been labeled a "girl toy".

Now I will preface by saying I don't believe in girl toys and boy toys. My sister and I both played with Legos, dinosaurs, trucks, Hotwheels, and on and on. We also played with dolls, had tea parties, and played dress up. We did it all. So the fact that Goldie Blox is aimed directly at girls is both exciting and disappointing all at the same time. I'm honestly utterly torn.

As a female engineer it is readily apparent to me every day that I am in a minority. There are some days I look around me for a female face and there are none. Quite often I am the only female in a room. It sucks and unfortunately there's really no better explanation for it. In my job, I am often looked on to do "girl tasks" such as run webex meetings, organize things, and take notes in meetings. Women in the workplace are often viewed as the mom's and are expected to think of everything when others don't. No disrespect to mom's, secretaries, office administrators, or other hard working individuals but while those things are a part of my job, it is not my sole responsibility day in and day out. I have engineering work to do as well. And while others have similar engineering work, it is also everyone's responsibility to do the "girl tasks" in their day to day jobs. Just because there is a female in the office does not mean it is solely her job to take care of those things.

Even worse, I still deal with gender stereotypes and comments that sometimes cross the line. And when a women has a baby, look out that's the end of her career. It is unfair to have to deal with these views. It is also something I've had to learn to stand up against. Something I never should have had to do. But that is the reality of women in engineering today. In fact, it's the reality of a lot of women in the workplace today. There are still stereotypes every single day, and I often have to work harder to prove that I am just as capable as my male counter parts. That I don't just bat my eyelashes to get what I want. That I struggle and claw and pull my way along some days just to show I can do it too, that my ideas are just as good as everyone else's.

So when a toy like Goldie Blox comes along and gets girls interested in a field that is struggling on a daily basis to not only maintain female numbers but also increase them, I applaud them. There is not nearly enough of this kind of thing in the world. That said, I think some of their marketing is a little misguided. But their heart is certainly in the right place.

There's no denying that most girls like pink, so I give Goldie Blox a ton of credit for making a toy that will attract young girls' eyes. But if you read Goldie Blox's FAQ, I mean really read it, there's a point in there that I think is being vastly overlooked.

6)    What engineering principles are being taught through the GoldieBlox toy?

• “GoldieBlox and the Spinning Machine” explores wheels and axles, force, friction and tension to build a belt drive machine.
• "GoldieBlox and the Parade Float" delves into wheels and axles, gear action and vehicle design.
• Future toys will explore pulleys, gears, levers, circuits and even coding!

Whether this toy is pink, purple, green, blue or tie dye, it's teaching kids (yes I said kids and not girls!) about engineering principles in a hands on way. When I was young, I really only learned about these principles from a text book. Which is often a difficult way to learn. This toy combines multiple kinds of learning with storytelling and hands on activities. It helps kids understand complex ideas at a younger age. I'm of firm belief that the sooner we turn kids on to things, the more prepared they are to handle struggles.

Fact of the matter is, everything we've learned in our lives down to walking and talking was hard at one point. But we overcame those difficulties and learned to do them. Engineering, math, and science are no different. Nothing in life is any different. Everything is hard at one point. We don't come out of the womb knowing it all and able to do everything. Kids see this everyday. They struggle. Many quit because of it.

The sooner we get kids turned on to complex topics and help them build that foundation, the better. Once kids have the basic tools, learning more complex concepts becomes easier. And the longer you do something the simpler it becomes. While not overly advertised, that is something this toy focuses on. Teaching kids pre-engineering principles in a way that they can understand and master them. But you can't entirely fault their marketing scheme. Clearly pink and purple are working. Look how many people are talking about this toy. But I hope in the future Goldie Blox expands their marketing to include what the toy is really about, teaching engineering principles to kids.

In this country, we can't train people in STEM careers fast enough. There is not enough supply to meet the increasing demand. So any toy that turns kids on to engineering, boy, girl, alien or what have you, is something we need more of. So why focus on girls when this is a problem in general? Because girls are much more likely to abandoned STEM fields at an earlier age. When asked about skills mastery, girls consistently rank themselves lower than boys of equal skill level. It's one reason why so many women leave engineering fields everyday. Women have to work harder, not only to overcome the stereotypes, but to overcome their own internal thoughts and feelings. It's exhausting.

The sooner we turn girls onto STEM the better. The sooner we expose kids to these ideals, and show them the possibilities, the sooner we start preparing for the future. This stuff is hard, but if we show kids it can be done, they build that confidence. They work harder. They don't quit as easily. And this something every kid needs to see, hear, and experience. Something a toy like Goldie Blox shows kids. That this stuff isn't so hard, it just takes some work and looking at it in a different way.

In the end whether you like the toy or not, the controversy has brought light to a topic that is near and dear to my heart. A topic that is not addressed nearly enough. Something that doesn't get enough attention. That we need more women in STEM fields. And if this toy can make the world not only notice this, but also face this issue head on and talk about it in any light, then I am 100% percent behind it, no questions asked.