Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Doubt Gremlin



I’m in an eternal tug of war with myself. I tell myself constantly that I’m good enough, my writing is good enough, and this book is the one. But that doesn’t stop the little gremlin of self-doubt from sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.

See that guy up there? Isn’t he cute… yeah real cute… until you get him wet and feed him after midnight… then he turns into this guy….

Not so cute anymore is he? And this is exactly what happens when you aren’t diligent about your writing and keeping a positive attitude. It's exhausting. So you turn your back for one minute and the self-doubt gremlin is there rearing his ugly, little head right in your face. And all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. Because let’s face it, when you have a lot of ugly slapping you in the face, constantly mocking you, what is there left to do? 

And then you start asking what the point is and start throwing that Q word around… you know it, it’s a four letter word, and it seems like it would be a much easier path. 

But it’s not.

So what do you do when the gremlins start invading your head? 

You start thinking, re-evaluating, and literally driving yourself crazy. Maybe if I just edit this one more time or if I listen to that new person, or if I rewrite this whole chapter or if if if… And sometimes it works, and other times, you end up with this….
What is that? An ugly self-doubt gremlin in a dress? Well yes, but it’s more than that. It’s you trying to disguise your problem and cover it with a Band-Aid. It’s a temporary fix. You feel better for a short time, but then the gremlins are right there laughing in your face again. In fact, they are enjoying the show.

And how dare they! How can they laugh at you? That’s not cool! You don’t deserve that! You’re better than that.

Now you’re beyond the point of sad, you’re angry, like hulk smash angry! So you decide you’re going to do something about it.

You know you’re good enough and no one can tell you otherwise. You’re going to go out there and put your best foot forward. You’re going to keep going and keep pushing through until you get what you’ve been putting all that time and effort in for. 

Take a deep breath. 

Keep working the things you can control and don’t sweat the stuff you can’t. 

There that’s better isn’t it? 

And when this guy rears his crazy head again….

You’ll be ready for him. You’ll know how to fight back. You’ll laugh at him. Cause let’s face it, a gremlin in a tiara is pretty funny.  And what were we even worried about now?

8 comments:

  1. I really hate the self-doubt gremlin. And why is it that he seems to find water before you reach the point of thinking my writing isn't so bad? This is a great post. I think most writers can related to it. =)

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    1. Thanks! It's so true, I think you have to hit the bottom before you can start crawling your way out. Now just gotta keep that cute fuzzy guy outta the water. :)

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  2. I didn't even start writing with publication in mind for years, because I didn't want to find out I wasn't "special enough."
    But the best thing I did was to throw myself in with the determination that, special or not, there's no excuse for not doing what I can.
    The rewards are in the doing. The rest is extra.

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  3. Yup, that's the ugly cretins that visit me far too often. I like him when he's fluffy a whole lot better! =)

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  4. I love this post. True and it's amazing how well those Gremlins work into your point :).

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    1. haha thanks. Yes they do work quite well ;)

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