A Manuscript’s Journey

Since I recently signed with my awesome agent Kira Watson, I wanted to take a step back and break down my process on the manuscript and talk about the amount of time and effort it took to ultimately sign with my agent. Some of this is to reflect back, but also to allow others to see how perseverance and hard work (a lot of it) can pay off. Before I landed an agent, I really had no idea the amount of work that went into a manuscript to get it to the point where someone would ultimately say yes!

In order to walk you through the process, we have to go all the way back to 2012. Yes I said 2012. I had just started querying my first completed manuscript (second manuscript I’d written) and a shiny new idea grabbed hold of me. I was driving in my car and a weird thought popped into my head. What if you never got lost, ever? (Ironically I was not lost at the time) What if you could have a map with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days and year? And that idea would become a story I dubbed TRACKER220. Of course from there the idea exploded. If you could carry a tracking device with you at all time, what other good and bad things would come from it?

With that sense of wonder and question I started writing. And for some reason I couldn’t stop. The idea kept going and going and going until before I knew it I had a finished draft. Then I was shuttling it off to critique partners. Everyone that read it enjoyed the concept and had valuable input. I spent even more time editing and incorporating their amazing feedback. This story felt special.

And yet when I set my first manuscript aside and put it in the metaphorical drawer because I wasn’t gaining much traction with it, I had this nagging feeling that TRACKER maybe wasn’t quite ready for the query trenches.

I posted my query and pages on Write On Con and got additional feedback from writers and Ninja agents. I continued to edit, but still felt like something wasn’t 100% there.

At this point it was the summer of 2014. I set my sites on Pitch Wars, a contest that allowed you to be selected by a mentor to work with you to improve your manuscript before an agent round and querying. It sounded like exactly what I needed to get over the hump and get my polished manuscript not just query ready but request ready.

I put in my submission for the four mentors I thought would be best for my manuscript and then I waited. And eventually I got a full request from a mentor, then a second full request from another mentor. Surely this was a good sign. But when the mentor/mentee match list went up I wasn’t on it.

I WAS DEVASTATED.

I cried… a lot.

I didn’t feel ready to query, but also didn’t know how to make my manuscript better than it currently was. I felt stuck despite really believing in my mansucript. But one of the mentors sent me an extremely encouraging feedback email. I really enjoyed your manuscript. I think you are query ready, and I wish I had some time to help you hone it even further.

Did she say query ready?

After that I put on my big girl pants and sent out a few queries. I quickly got a full request and was shocked at how fast it came. Maybe this mentor was right.

With some new found encouragement I also entered Baker’s Dozen. I wasn’t expecting to get in. After all Pitch Wars hadn’t turned out how I had hoped. And as I suspected, when the email notification went out, my inbox was empty. But then a moment later it dinged. One of my CPs who has also entered was reaching out. Isn’t TRACKER220 your manuscript? I scrolled the list and sure enough it was on there but with a different author’s name by it. Had it been a mistake? I emailed Authoress and sure enough it had been. I was in! So on that fateful day in December when the manuscripts went up for auction, I landed two additional full requests.

Now I really felt like I was getting somewhere. I continued forward getting involved in twitter pitch events and getting a lot of positive remarks from writers saying they loved the concept and couldn’t wait to read a story like mine. And even got a lot of requests from agents and small pubs during the events. I also entered Sun vs Snow and got in to that as well!

But as the year moved into 2015, I got no requests during Sun vs Snow and the full rejections from Baker’s Dozen rolled in too. I felt lost again, but that my story really was something special and that I couldn’t give up on it.

By the middle of 2015 I was sitting on some agent feedback from the full rejections. The agents didn’t connect enough (whatever that meant) and a couple sited that they had hoped for more world building.

WORLD BUILDING?

What did that even mean? That could be any number of things. I didn’t know where to start. I struggled to wrap my brain around how to fix world building in the manuscript, but knew that it was probably a real issue because more than one agent had pointed it out.

And still I stewed and spun my wheels. (oh and I got married in October 2015 which slowed me down a bit)

Until I decided maybe it was time to pull back. I spent months revising the manuscript and getting more feedback with respect to the world and character development in the story. I completed a major edit that included adding scenes to help further define the technology and world. I got one more round of feedback to make sure I was on the right track before I dove back into the query trenches again in summer/fall of 2016.

I felt so much better about the manuscript this time. I continued to pitch during twitter contests and got more requests as well as full requests from my queries. I found new agents to query and kept pushing forward.

Until I nudged an agent who had had my manuscript for over 3 months (for those keeping track we are now in March of 2017). Finally she responded. She loved the concept and many aspects of the story, but ultimately something had made her pause. The world. The reader was told a lot about how the world worked through the main characters eyes, but the reader wasn’t really shown. And because of that, the agent decided to pass.

BUT she said if I would like to revise, she’d be happy to take another look.

When I first read the email I was furious. All I saw was world building as a problem yet again. Hadn’t I already fixed that? How could it still be broken? And because of that anger, I’d completely missed how much the agent actually enjoyed my manuscript, and the fact that she believed in it enough to give me another shot.

After I took some time to cool down and really consider what she had to say, I 100% agreed with every piece of feedback she had given me. And even better the ideas on how to fix it were already flowing. I sat on it for a day and talked it over with some of my critique partners. I was pretty sure I was going to do the revision.

And when I woke up the next morning EUREKA! Something I had always known about my main character but had never been able to make matter to the story finally had its place. I had always known my main character was Jewish, but I never mentioned it before because it didn’t seem important to the story…until this agent’s feedback. With the way she had explained the world building, if I incorporated how the main character was Jewish, I could show her struggles with the technology and her religion simultaneously. With the technology built into my story it was in direct conflict with Jewish beliefs and observances of the Sabbath. Now I had something.

I emailed the agent and let her know I’d like to work a revision and would get back to her when I finished. Then I went to work. I red lined the whole manuscript. Looked for places to really show how the technology worked, pulled in Jewish traditions, beliefs, and identity struggles and even rearranged a series of chapters to fix the flow of the story and increase the pace in the middle.

All in all, it took me a solid SIX MONTHS to complete the edits. And when I did, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had a much stronger manuscript. But I still wasn’t sure if the agent would like the direction I took the story. She’d mentioned world building, not incorporating religion into the story. What if she hated the story now?

I swallowed down the feelings of doubt and sent it off in October of 2017. Then I queried some additional agents and waited, and waited…

AND WAITED.

Until that fateful day when I finally had an offer in hand (January 2018 for those still keeping track). It wasn’t the agent who requested the R&R but another agent who offered. So I notified the agent who requested the R&R and she was in the middle of reading and had really positive things to say as well. And a few days later she too offered. And I signed with the second agent!

But none of this wouldn’t have been possible without the time I took to edit and polish. The leaps of faith I took and the pauses. Taking the time to step back re-evaluate and rework was invaluable. The continued effort to improve the manuscript and my craft was exactly what I needed. Not taking no for an answer and using it as fuel to light the fire that led to achieving my goal was the icing on the cake.

When it was all said and done, from initial thought to offer, it was just shy of 5 years or writing, editing and querying off and on. And five years and one day after I sent my first query for my other manuscript. All because I refused to give up. Because I listened to that nagging voice in my head that this story had to be told and it was good enough to get noticed.

I still have work ahead of me on this manuscript, but all the hard work has definitely paid off. And I now know what it takes to take something from idea to magic.

Writing Contests Aren't Everything

I know we all get excited when we see writing contests that give us the opportunity to get our work in front of agents. I mean how cool would it be to get an agent through a contest? But I've got news for you. As great as contests are, they aren't the end all be all. They aren't the only path to finding an agent.

Contests are great learning experiences don't get me wrong. And you can meet loads of awesome writers, so by all means enter away. But make sure when you do, you don't agonize over them too much. Put all that energy into shining up your query, polishing your pages, absorbing all the writing tips you can, and building an awesome network of writers and critique partners.

Cause here's the thing, even if you make it into a contest and get in front of the agents, you might still come up empty. I've been there, all excited someone saw promise in my work only to get zero requests from the agents in the contest. It sucks, but rejection if part of the business.

So how is it possible that you busted your butt to get into a contest and then you get no requests? I have a theory, certainly subjectivity and marketability come into play here and what one person loves someone else might not, but sometimes it's a matter of who's involved. Sure you should be thoroughly researching the agents in contest before you enter to make sure a good chunk of the agents are looking for what you have. That said, when you're in a contest you're stuck with that limited set of agents.

On the other hand, when you query, you take control over who you submit to. You have the opportunity to show you've done your homework and to personalize your submission to each agent you send to. Many agents request pages in their submission guidelines and do read them which can also be to your benefit to submit more than just 250 words. (Yes, you should be able to hook someone in 250 words, but some agents are more forgiving than others if they see something there.) And you definitely get to submit your query, whereas in many contests you are limited to a short pitch. Sure, there's merit in being able to boil your book down to a sentence, but sometimes you need more real estate to really let your voice, and the unique aspects of your book shine.

The other advantage querying gives you is time. You can send them out in batches see how things go and reevaluate if needed. In contests it's a one shot deal. The submission windows are short, the contests don't usually last long, and you are often stuck showing agents what you sent in (although some contests have a rework/resubmit period it usually is on a tight deadline.) But when you query, you get rejections, and sometimes personalized feedback, and then you can take as much time as you need to perfect your submission package for the next round. Finding an agent is a marathon not a sprint so take every opportunity you can to perfect your work.

Another thing to consider about contests is there's a limited number of people selected. It's a firm number and a lot more people are going to enter than will actually get in. But if you query, an agent (or qualified intern) will see your work. And while they can only take on a limited number of clients, if they are open to queries, they are open to new clients. There's little limit to the number of requests they can make (other than reading time), and they can take on as many clients as they think they can adequately handle. So querying in many ways gives you a much larger window of opportunity.

So all that said, try not to stress too much about contests. I know easier said than done, we all stress over them, myself included, but take a minute and breathe. If you make it into a contest great! Congrats, someone saw something awesome in your work. If you get requests, even better you rock! But if you don't get requests or don't make it in, that doesn't mean your stuff isn't awesome or that someone didn't think your writing is good. Sure we all need to work on our craft, no one is perfect. But shine that sucker up and get into the query trenches. When the world shuts a door on you, go find a window to open. Cause let's face it, climbing out of windows is way more fun anyway. ;)

The Doubt Gremlin

I’m in an eternal tug of war with myself. I tell myself constantly that I’m good enough, my writing is good enough, and this book is the one. But that doesn’t stop the little gremlin of self-doubt from sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.

See that guy up there? Isn’t he cute… yeah real cute… until you get him wet and feed him after midnight… then he turns into this guy….

Not so cute anymore is he? And this is exactly what happens when you aren’t diligent about your writing and keeping a positive attitude. It's exhausting. So you turn your back for one minute and the self-doubt gremlin is there rearing his ugly, little head right in your face. And all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. Because let’s face it, when you have a lot of ugly slapping you in the face, constantly mocking you, what is there left to do? 

And then you start asking what the point is and start throwing that Q word around… you know it, it’s a four letter word, and it seems like it would be a much easier path. 

But it’s not.

So what do you do when the gremlins start invading your head? 

You start thinking, re-evaluating, and literally driving yourself crazy. Maybe if I just edit this one more time or if I listen to that new person, or if I rewrite this whole chapter or if if if… And sometimes it works, and other times, you end up with this….

What is that? An ugly self-doubt gremlin in a dress? Well yes, but it’s more than that. It’s you trying to disguise your problem and cover it with a Band-Aid. It’s a temporary fix. You feel better for a short time, but then the gremlins are right there laughing in your face again. In fact, they are enjoying the show.

And how dare they! How can they laugh at you? That’s not cool! You don’t deserve that! You’re better than that.

Now you’re beyond the point of sad, you’re angry, like hulk smash angry! So you decide you’re going to do something about it.

You know you’re good enough and no one can tell you otherwise. You’re going to go out there and put your best foot forward. You’re going to keep going and keep pushing through until you get what you’ve been putting all that time and effort in for. 

Take a deep breath. 

Keep working the things you can control and don’t sweat the stuff you can’t. 

There that’s better isn’t it? 

And when this guy rears his crazy head again….

You’ll be ready for him. You’ll know how to fight back. You’ll laugh at him. Cause let’s face it, a gremlin in a tiara is pretty funny.  And what were we even worried about now?

Finding the Strength

We all feel it-that nagging voice that tells us we aren’t good enough, that we have no idea what we’re doing, and that we’re wasting our time. That little voice, or even person, that says you can’t do this no matter what you do.

It sucks; especially when you want something more than breathing air.

So how do you pick yourself up and keep moving forward when you feel like you’re at the bottom of a million foot cliff with no way out?

Well, you have two options. You give up or you pick yourself up and find a way.

But how do you do that when your head keeps telling you how much you suck?

There’s been a lot of talk on the #keepgoing hashtag which is motivating writers to not give up. To do exactly that, KEEP GOING! It’s inspiring to see writers making it and achieving their goals. Even to see the difference one year makes.

Most of the time.

But sometimes those gremlins get in your brain and make you feel like you’re a slacker compared to the rest of the community, that you aren’t working as hard as the rest, and that you just can’t live up to everyone else.

You tell yourself you’re too fast, or too slow, or aren’t on the right path or any other host of things that eat at you from the inside out. You tell yourself you aren’t where you’re supposed to be.

I’ve got news for you…

THERE IS NO RIGHT PATH

YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU SHOULD BE

There’s only the path you are on and what works for you. Do what helps you learn and grow in the way that you need to in order to accomplish your goals.

Do what you have to do!

Plain and simple.

Find a support system, hone your craft, work at your own pace, and don’t give up. Only you know what’s right for you, so don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Have faith in yourself, and stick with it!