Finding the Strength

We all feel it-that nagging voice that tells us we aren’t good enough, that we have no idea what we’re doing, and that we’re wasting our time. That little voice, or even person, that says you can’t do this no matter what you do.

It sucks; especially when you want something more than breathing air.

So how do you pick yourself up and keep moving forward when you feel like you’re at the bottom of a million foot cliff with no way out?

Well, you have two options. You give up or you pick yourself up and find a way.

But how do you do that when your head keeps telling you how much you suck?

There’s been a lot of talk on the #keepgoing hashtag which is motivating writers to not give up. To do exactly that, KEEP GOING! It’s inspiring to see writers making it and achieving their goals. Even to see the difference one year makes.

Most of the time.

But sometimes those gremlins get in your brain and make you feel like you’re a slacker compared to the rest of the community, that you aren’t working as hard as the rest, and that you just can’t live up to everyone else.

You tell yourself you’re too fast, or too slow, or aren’t on the right path or any other host of things that eat at you from the inside out. You tell yourself you aren’t where you’re supposed to be.

I’ve got news for you…

THERE IS NO RIGHT PATH

YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU SHOULD BE

There’s only the path you are on and what works for you. Do what helps you learn and grow in the way that you need to in order to accomplish your goals.

Do what you have to do!

Plain and simple.

Find a support system, hone your craft, work at your own pace, and don’t give up. Only you know what’s right for you, so don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Have faith in yourself, and stick with it!

Inner Peace

Today Michelle Mason tagged me with the Inner Peace Award. The rules are to share seven things my blog readers don’t know about me.

1.) I’ve been to seven countries outside the US. And I’ll list my favorite part of each trip

• Israel – Floating in the dead sea and taking a jeep ride through the Golan Heights

  

  Me in the Golan Heights

• France – Cannes (side note: least favorite part, getting the worst sunburn of my life on a nude beach, no I wasn’t nude!)
• Spain – Swimming in the Olympic pool in Barcelona
• Italy – Seeing the leaning tower of Pisa, and pretty much everything in Rome.
• Monaco – Everything about it. This country is seriously gorgeous. So many awesome views. Not to mention some seriously cool expensive cars.
• Andorra – The Mountains
• England – Platform 9 ¾’s, the Tower of London, double decker buses, the Millenium bridge, Blackfriars Bridge, Tower Bridge, and just London in general.

  

  Tower Bridge

2.) I didn’t always want to be an engineer. When I was little I wanted to be an astronaut, then for a very long time I wanted to be a Veterinarian. I changed my mind junior year of high school. When I went to a weeklong intro to engineering program, I saw them break a two inch diameter steel rod. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. Right then and there I decided I wanted to break stuff for a living. I combined my love of space with my love of math and science and am now a Rocket Scientist.

3.) I started swimming when I was three and learned to do three strokes at that age, backstroke, breast stroke and freestyle. I swam on team for years, and was a butterflier for a while, one of the few who could do the stroke properly without getting DQ’d. When I got into high school I was on the swim team and was a breaststroker. I got a varsity letter on the swim team.

4.) In high school I considered changing my mailing address to the school's theater. I loved being a backstager. I staged managed a number of productions including Once Upon a Mattress. I climbed ladders, hung and focused lights, and programmed light boards. I was the only girl in backstage theater who didn’t paint. I couldn’t paint to save my life unless someone said go paint that wall black. I did construct sets, and I was the only girl who could pick up a screw gun and not have it taken away from her.

5.) I’m a dancer. They put ballet and tap shoes on me at age three. I danced tap, jazz, and ballet from aged three to eighteen. I started pointe at age fifteen. I quit when I went to college but picked it back up in grad school and beyond. I also love watching so you think you can dance. It reminds me of my dance days.

6.) I went to space camp. It was awesome. I got to see the shuttle roll out to the pad but sadly never saw a launch. I only wish I could have done some zero g training. I always wanted to ride in the vomit comet but never did.

7.) I loved sleep away camp. I spent eight summers at camp: five as a camper, two as a junior counselor, and one as a counselor. I even spent an entire eight week summer there as a camper one year. I met some of my best friends at camp at age twelve and we are still friends today nearly twenty years later. Most days I wish I could back to camp and do it all over again. Best time of my life!

So that’s seven things you may not have known about me. I’m tagging

Tom Torre

Mandy Pietruszewski

Stacey Trombley

Amira Makansi

You Can’t Please Everyone… So Stop Trying!

Ever feel like you are being torn in two trying to please everyone? Yeah that’s me pretty much every day. And it seems to be happening more and more lately. Someone has hold of each of my arms and legs and they are just pulling until I’m busted at the seams.

Okay, well that’s really just a metaphorical me, but it seems like it’s happening with increasing frequency when it comes to my manuscript. One person says one thing, someone else says something completely contradictory, and my head is spinning so fast I look like I need an exorcism. But that’s the thing, just because someone gives you advice, doesn’t mean you are obligated to take it. It is merely that, advice, someone’s opinion.

Writing is so subjective. It’s often difficult to know what feedback to listen to and what to ignore. So how do you know if you are making the right decision? Because you can’t possibly please everyone.

But that’s just it. There is no right decision, at least not in the general sense of the phrase. There is only what is right for you and your story, and what your gut tells you. It’s so hard to follow your gut. But you and only you know your story best, so you have to be true to that. By all means take what resonates with you and let your story evolve. But at the end of the day, you have to be happy with your story first or no one else will. Everyone else will either choose to stand behind you or not. Revel in those that support your vision and don’t sweat the others. Because unfortunately you can’t please everyone, so stop trying!

Give yourself a break. You’ll be better off for it.

A Review of The Apollo Academy by Kimberly P. Chase

As the heiress to Titon Technologies, eighteen-year-old Aurora Titon can have whatever she wants—clothes, expensive gadgets, anything money can buy. All she really wants is to escape her pampered, paparazzi-prone life for the stars. Becoming the first female pilot to train as an astronaut for the Apollo Academy is exactly the chance for which she has been waiting. Everything would be perfect if it weren't for her unreciprocated crush on a fellow student, the sexy astronaut bent on making her life hell, and the fact that someone keeps trying to kill her.

The first in a four book new adult science fiction series, The Apollo Academy, is an action packed story of love, discovery, and survival.
 *summary from Goodreads





 My Review**
The Apollo Academy is the first New Adult book I've read. I wasn't sure what to expect from a book in a genre that is still at its heart finding its place in the market. But when I read the summary referencing, astronaut training, female pilots, and hot boys, I instantly knew I needed to get my hands on this book. And I was not disappointed, in fact I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Zane and Aurora are multidimensional characters from two different ends of the spectrum. But at their cores, they both want the same thing--to blend in. As heiress to the Titon Technologies, Aurora is always in the spotlight, the last place she wants to be. Aurora dreams of being a pilot at The Apollo Academy. However, her goal takes her out of one spotlight and thrust her into another, as the first and only female pilot to enter the program. Despite all the claims that Aurora's father bought her a spot in the program, she is determined to prove she gained entry on her own merits and surpass every challenge laid out for her. Her sheer determination while proving herself time and time again was not only a quality that I loved but also something I identified with as a female engineer.

As an unknown Zane is constantly scraping to get by. He wants nothing more than his status as an unknown to be erased and join society as a normal citizen. Entry into The Apollo Academy is his only chance to make something of himself and elevate his unknown status. Although his strong aptitude for tech might be his ticket into the academy, he faces a different set of challenges. Unknowns usually aren't permitted in the academy and if anyone finds out his real status, it could mean hell for Zane. Not to mention hiding a genetic anomaly that could get him kicked out of training and ruin his chances at a normal life. Despite all his struggles early on, Zane seems to adapt well to his surroundings and is extremely likeable from the moment he steps onto the page. He's a fighter in a much different way than Aurora, and he isn't afraid to get his hands dirty in the process.

Despite their vastly different backgrounds Zane and Aurora seem inexplicably drawn to each other. Even with their secrets, each sees the other for who they truly are rather than what the rest of the world does. But each stands to lose a lot by getting involved with the other. Aurora doesn't need any additional distractions in her training. It's bad enough that her attractive flight instructor, Sky is always on her case. And Zane has his secrets to maintain too. Not to mention a girl like Aurora would never date a guy like Zane or would she?

The further into training Zane and Aurora go, the more challenges they are faced with. In addition to hiding secrets, Aurora finds her life in danger when several training missions go wrong. It looks like Terra United, an extremist group bent on stopping the moon mining missions, could be behind the attacks but there are others who just think the incidents were simple accidents. Zane's inexplicable need to protect Aurora draws him into the mysterious mishaps, and they both need Sky's help to get a closer look at the situation. But Sky has secrets of his own and no one is sure who they can trust.

As The Apollo Academy unfolds, the reader is faced with secrets, steamy, tension-filled romance, and the excitement of astronaut training. The book is well paced and told in three POV's. Although I'm not sure Sky's POV was needed throughout the story, I still found his voice unique and interesting. That said, I was immediately drawn to Aurora and Zane's stories and the two of them really kept me flipping the pages. Aurora and Zane left me constantly guessing who they could trust, including each other. As an engineer I enjoyed the aerospace and pilot elements tied into the book. I contemplated the science surrounding mining the moon and the potential risks it could have for Earth, but not so much so that it detracted from the story. I found myself wanting to know more about Terra United's side of the story and am hoping it is touched on in future books. All in all, The Apollo Academy is a great book, with a unique setting and premise, characters you can latch on to, and a story that reels you in and doesn't let go. I give it 4 stars.

Why Each New Book Seems Harder to Write

I never thought the second book I would finish would be harder to write than my first. But now that I've started another draft and it's even more difficult than anything I’ve done before, I often wonder why writing more and more books seems to get harder rather than easier. Of course certain aspects are easier, I know what cliches to avoid, what words to stay away from, how to show not tell and basically how to avoid the "rookie" writing mistakes. But the actual writing of the book, the completion of the draft seems to get increasingly difficult. So I started to think about why that is and came up with the following reasons:

Constantly stretching oneself.

As writers we strive to do better. Our goals get bigger, which means we tend to take on harder more complex concepts as we go. And with those bigger goals the mind often struggles to keep up. We start to wonder if we are reaching too high, if we’ve gone outside the realm of our capabilities. If we are in over our heads. All these questions can cripple the writing process, which leads directly into the next issue…

Self-doubt.

The more we write, the more the brain starts to catch up. The worry increases. We wonder can I really do this again? What kind of mess have I gotten myself into this time? Even worse, we think the rest of the world will discover the truth about us—that we have no freaking idea what we are doing. How long can we really fake it, and when will someone stand there with their finger pointed at us saying haha I caught you? The whole idea is completely daunting. All the self-doubt then leads to undue…

Pressure.

Naturally the more we write the more we expect ourselves to improve. In fact, so do our critique partners and our readers. Constantly getting better is important but it's also exhausting. And the thoughts that we constantly have to be better creep into the mind when writing that first draft. Which makes it ever so difficult to write and even harder to finish. We as writers have to step back and re-allow ourselves to have shitty first drafts. We are allowed to suck, and once we remember that it relieves some of the pressure. But with that pressure also comes the drive to…

Strive for uniqueness.

They say every person has a book in them. And in many ways that first book is easy because the ideas just flow. Not that finishing is easy, in fact finishing my first book was the most difficult thing I’d ever done. But the more books we write, the more we have to pay attention to what we've done in the past, and continue to strive for something new and different. We don’t want to keep writing the same characters in new settings or new characters in the same situations that we've written about before. We want to write new characters with new stories and our readers want the same. We need to continue to push ourselves, but again it’s exhausting.

The good news is, we as writers aren’t alone. We all go through this. And once we diagnose the issues we are having, we can usually get right back into a draft. We can continue to better ourselves as writers and stretch our limits beyond what we thought possible.

So what are some of the things that make your writing more difficult and what do you do to carry on?

Writing isn't Rocket Science... It's Much Much Harder

When I became an engineer and more specifically an aerospace engineer, I thought it would be one of the most difficult things I ever did in my life. I truly earned the pride and joy behind getting to say I'm a rocket scientist. Sure it's super cool to say that now and even more fun to joke about it, but it was a long, long road to get to that point where I could say hey I'm a rocket scientist and I'm smart dang it!

In college, I spent countless hours studying to only get a 32% on an exam which was in fact average. I learned to say D is for DONE in Thermodynamics when I'd never had less than a B as a final grade in a class and in fact I picked up a pair of C's to go with it that semester. I took eight to twelve hours to complete one homework problem, yes one single problem, and no, I'm not kidding! I even struggled to find a way to cope with learning disabilities that I'd only discovered in college. After all that, and countless other road blocks, long nights of studying, and second guessing my major and my life a million and one times, I'm here to say this does not even begin to compare to the journey I've been through as a writer.

In fact, I'm not even sure I should be comparing the two journeys, or if that's even comparing apples to apples. But having been through both, I can say with full honesty that rocket scientists have nothing on writers. This isn't discrediting any rocket scientists out there or even discrediting my day job. There's no doubt in my mind rocket scientists are smart people, geniuses in a lot of cases, that work their butts off. However, the journey as a writer not only tests your knowledge, your brain, and your ability to think and plan, but it also tests your will, your strength, and your emotions. And it's those last three things that separates writers from a lot of other professions. Because along the journey as a writer, you not only discover things about your characters, your settings, and the stories you construct, but you also are constantly discovering things about yourself - which is simultaneously the most wonderful and most frightening thing there is.

Everyday that I write, I see a thousand paths laid out before me and most of them aren't any better or worse than the next. But how do you choose? And how do you know if you are even on the right path? When do you step back and re-evaluate? I've got news for you, while these answers are never easy, they are a million times easier in engineering than they are in writing.

While engineering doesn't always have one right answer and sometimes doesn't have an answer at all, writing has an infinite number of answers. Writing is only limited by the writer's imagination not by the laws of physics. If you can dream it, it's possible. And as much as we engineers like to think that any dream is possible in the real world, physics unfortunately doesn't always cooperate. DARN YOU GRAVITY!

And even though rocket science isn't easy, it is possible. And although writing feels down right impossible at times as well, it too is possible. But it requires a lot of time and strength everyday to keep putting words one right after another on the page. It takes courage and swallowing down your emotions to keep going when your mind is telling you that you're insane and your heart is saying that it's completely broken. And yet we writers keep pushing through and keep going despite all the fences, hurdles, and walls put in front of us. We find new ways to bust down the obstacles.

So writers, give yourselves a pat on the back, what you do may not be rocket science but it also is by no means easy. And anyone that thinks so, is either kidding themselves, or hasn't given it an honest shot. So keep doing your thing writers. This rocket scientist and writer takes her hat off to you!

The Importance of a Voice

As writers we talk about voice, a lot. About how important is to have a unique voice that stands out and draws the reader in. But there is another voice that is equally important. The one each and every one of us has. The unique perspective we each have on life. This is why we write, to share our unique experiences with others. To speak for the thousands of voices shouting in our heads.

Last night in Texas, one woman proved the power of one voice. She refused to sit by and let something she believed in be trampled. As writers this is something we do every time we put words on the page. We speak for those who refuse to sit by idol and not be heard. Those voices may not always be real, but they definitely have something to say. They have meaning.

This morning as I woke up to a storm on Twitter, I realized the power behind a single voice. How one person can rally hundreds and thousands of voices to be heard. If it wasn't for the writing community bringing to light such an important issue, I would have never known what happened in Texas. Thanks to the news, this important historic event was nearly ignored and forgotten. But the writing community used their voices to not only support one voice but to amplify it to the world. The writing community made the voices heard. Because this is what we do as writers. We use our voices, we put them out in the world, and sometimes, we change it.

I want to say a huge thank you to writing community. As always, you stood strong and do what you do best. You used your voices!

As we go into today and more big decisions, keep doing what you do best. Be loud, be proud, and spread the word! Be the amplifier for the voices in the world!

ONE Sneak Peek Comic - Final Installment

Hey all! Back here representing #TeamONE with the final installment of the ONE Comic. It's a depiction of my absolute favorite scene in the book and let me tell you this is nothing short of beautiful, fabulousness (yes I'm making up words cause it's that awesome!) I hope you've enjoyed the comic series. I know I have!

Isn't that just absolutely stunning? Makes me wish I could draw. And if that wont make you go pick up a copy of ONE, I don't know what will! So go get your copy of ONE, it releases TOMORROW!  Check out my review of ONE!

Find a full list with links to the other installments of this series on the author’s blog:  www.leighannkopans.blogspot.com

Or follow the author on Twitter @LeighAnnKopans for daily updates!

About ONE (a novel by Leigh Ann Kopans:)

Release date: June 11, 2013

When having two powers makes you a Super and having none makes you a Normal, having only one makes you a sad half-superpowered freak.

It makes you a One.

Sixteen-year-old Merrin Grey would love to be able to fly – too bad all she can do is hover.

If she could just land an internship at the Biotech Hub, she might finally figure out how to fix herself. She busts her butt in AP Chem and salivates over the Hub’s research on the manifestation of superpowers, all in hopes of boosting her chances.

Then she meets Elias VanDyne, another One, and all her carefully crafted plans fly out the window. Literally. When the two of them touch, their Ones combine to make them fly, and when they’re not soaring over the Nebraska cornfields, they’re busy falling for each other.

Merrin's mad chemistry skills land her a spot on the Hub's internship short list, but as she gets closer to the life she always wanted, she discovers that the Hub’s purpose is more sinister than it has always seemed. Now it’s up to her to decide if it's more important to fly solo, or to save everything - and everyone - she loves.

Add ONE to your Goodreads and learn more about the author here: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17251203-one